General Flashman and the Great War, Part 3

     ‘By that reckoning,’ said Mr Franklin, ‘no one would ever stand up to a brute or a bully.’
     ‘Course they would — when it was worth while. You don’t remember the war of 1870 — when those same Germans marched on Paris. Smallish war — but suppose we’d been helping the frogs then? It wouldn’t have been over half as quick, and God knows how many folk would have died who are still happily going about their business in Alsace and Lorraine. Same thing today — we should simply tell the Kaiser that if his fleet puts its nose out of the Baltic we’ll send it to the bottom — that satisfies the Frogs, up to a point, since it guarantees their northern coast, it satisfies the Kaiser who’ll swallow his pride for the sake of us keeping out of the war, and it saves his pretty little ships as well. And five years from now, Liege will be doing rather well — whether it’s got a German provost-marshall still or not. And that won’t matter a damn, to people whose main concern is eating, drinking, fornicating, making money, and seeing their children grow up safe and healthy.’


* Should be read in conjunction with General Flashman and the Great War, Part 1 & General Flashman and the Great War, Part 2 [Speedicut]


Mr American, p.519, Pan Books, paperback edition 1982.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, war.

General Flashman and the Great War, Part 2

*‘Anyway, imagine yourself a Belgian — in Liege, say. Along come the Prussians, and invade you. What about it? — a few cars commandeered, a shop or two looted, half a dozen girls knocked up, a provost marshal installed, and the storm’s passed. Fierce fighting with the Frogs, who squeal like hell because Britain refuses to help, the Germans reach Paris, peace concluded, and that’s that. And there you are, getting on with your garden in Liege. But — ‘ the General waved his bony finger. ‘Suppose Britain helps — sends forces to aid little Belgium — and the Frogs — against the Teuton horde? what then? Belgian resistance is stiffened, the Frogs manage to stop the invaders, a hell of a war is waged all over Belgium and north-east France, and after God knows how much slaughter and destruction the the Germans are beat — or not, as the case may be. How’s Liege doing? I’ll tell you — it’s a bloody shambles. You’re lying mangled in your cabbage patch, your wife’s had her legs blown off, your daughters have been raped, and your house is a mass of rubble. You’re a lot better off for British intervention, ain’t you?’ He sat back grinning sardonically.


* Should be read in conjunction with General Flashman and the Great War, Part 1 [Speedicut]

Mr American, pp.518-19, Pan Books, paperback edition 1982.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, invasion.

General Flashman and the Great War, Part 1

     Mr Franklin replied non-committally, and asked the General what he thought of the war situation. The old man shrugged.
     ‘Contemptible — but of course it always is. We should stay out, and to hell with Belgium. After all, it’s stretching things to say we’re committed to ’em, and we’d be doing ’em a favour — and the frogs too.’
     ‘By not protecting them, you mean? I don’t quite see that.’
     ‘You wouldn’t — because like most idiots you think of war being between states - coloured blobs on the map. You think if we can keep Belgium green, or whatever colour it is, instead of Prussian blue, then hurrah for everyone. But war ain’t between coloured blobs — it’s between people. You know what people are, I suppose? — chaps in trousers, and women in skirts, and kids in small clothes.’*

*See also General Flashman and the Great War, Part 2 [Speedicut]


Mr American, p.518, Pan Books, paperback edition 1982.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, people.

The best kind of Frog

... for he was the best kind of Frog, shrewd and tough as teak, but jolly and with no foolish airs.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.180, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, teak.

A savage and a mackerel

      Count Shuvalov, she informed me, was a sacred perverted beast, a savage and a mackerel and a swine of tastes indescribable .... demanding from her an Arabian Nights performance which I doubt even Dick Burton had ever heard of. He had also insisted that they smear each other all over with quince jam, to which he was partial, and while much of it had been removed in the ensuing frolic, I noticed that she still had a tendency to attract fluff and other light debris as she raged to and from the kitchen with hot kettles for her bath.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.35, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, fluff.

A condition of swoon

...that inevitably led to another glorious thrashing-match which restored her amour-propre and left me in what I once heard a French naval officer describe as a condition of swoon.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.34, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, swoon.

Infrequent visits

...on my infrequent visits to Paris, which is a greasy sort of sink, not much better than Port Moresby...


Flashman and the Tiger, p.16, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Paris.

Decent grub

So I waited while he gorged his way through half a dozen overblown courses — why the French must clart decent grub with glutinous sauces beats me…


Flashman and the Tiger, p.20, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, sauce.

Never mind the Moulin Rouge

My advice to young chaps is to never mind the Moulin Rouge and Pigalle, but make for some diplomatic mêlée on the Rue de Lisbonne, catch the eye of a well-fleshed countess, and ere the night’s out you’ll have learned something you won’t want to tell your grandchildren.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.16, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Moulin Rouge.

Flashman on American independence

      But try telling that to a smart New Yorker, or an Arkansas chawbacon, or a pot-bellied Virginian Senator; point out Canada and Australia managed their way to peaceful independence without any tomfool Declarations or Bunker Hills or Shilohs or Gettysburgs, and are every bit as much “the land of the free” as Kentucky or Oregon, and all you’ll get is a great harangue about “liberty and the pursuit of happiness”, damn your Limey impudence, from the first; a haw-haw and stream of tobacco juice across your boots from the second; and a deal of pious fustian about a new nation forged in blood emerging into the sunlight under Freedom’s flag, from the third. You might as well be listening to an intoxicated Frog.

Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.105, Harper Collins, 1995.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, liberty.

First into the breach

      “Frogs just a damned nuisance, of course — no proprer provision, an’ thre days late,” says he with satisfaction. “How the blazes Bonaparte ever got ’em on parade beats me. We should go without ’em.”       Everyone says that about the French, and it’s gospel true — until it’s Rosalie’s breakfast time*, and then Froggy’ll be first into the breach ahead of us, just out of spite.


*Time for action. Rosalie was the long French sword-bayonet.


Flashman and the Dragon, p.160, Fontana Paperback edition, 1986.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, French.

A shared enemy

…Royals in their shirt-sleeves mingling with the Tirailleurs to swap baccy and gossip (it’s damned sinister, if you ask me, how the Jocks and Frogs always drift together)…

Flashman and the Dragon, p.160, Fontana Paperback edition, 1986.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, gossip.

Gen. Sir James Grant explains the disposition of the 1860 Anglo-French expedition to China

     “Shared command. Montauban and I. Day about. Lamentable.” Pause. “Supply difficult. Forage all imported. No horses to be had. Brought our own from India. Not the French. Have to buy ’em. Japanese ponies. Vicious beasts. Die like flies.” Another pause. “French disturb me. No experience. Great campaigns, Peninsula, Crimea. Deplorable. No small wars. Delays. Cross purposes. Better by ourselves. Hope Montauban speaks English.
     That would make one of you, thinks I. Would the Chinese fight, I asked, and a long silence fell.
     “Possibly.” Pause. “Once.”


Flashman and the Dragon, p.47, Fontana Paperback edition, 1986.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, abrupt.

High yet husky

Ko Dali’s daughter spoke for the first time, and I was surprised how high and yet husky her voice was – the kind that makes you think of French satin sofas, with the blinds down and purple wall-paper.

Flashman at the Charge, p.247, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,voice, husky.

Wasted days

The clever men were for driving on hard to Sevastopol, a bare twenty miles away, and with our cavalry in good fettle we could obviously have taken it. But the Frogs were too tired, or too sick, or too Froggy, if you ask me, and days were wasted, and the Ruskies managed to bolt the door in time.

Flashman at the Charge, p.74, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,Crimean War, French.

Big place, ain’t it?

…I was as close to the conduct of the [Crimean] war in the summer of ’54 as anyone, and I can tell you truthfully that the official view of the thing was:
   ‘Well, here we are, the French and ourselves, at war with Russia, in order to protect Turkey. Ve-ry good. What shall we do, then? Better attack Russia, eh? H’m, yes. (Pause). Big place, ain’t it?

Flashman at the Charge, p.51, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,Crimean War, Russia.

Britannia’s flashing eyes

To hear them, all we had to do was march into Moscow when we felt like it, with the Frogs carrying our packs for us and the cowardly Russians skulking away before Britannia’s flashing eyes.

Flashman at the Charge, p.41, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,Russians, Britannia, Crimean War.

A tropical Paris

Indeed, it was sometimes not unlike a kind of tropical Paris, but without those bloody Frogs. New Orleans, of course, is where they civilized the French.

Flash For Freedom!, p.136, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1980.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes,New Orleans.

Garlicy thoughts

Other foreigners may have garlic on their breaths, but the Frogs have it on their thoughts as well.

Royal Flash, p.70, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1978.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes.