Some half-baked crank notion

‘. . . I won’t have you ruin your life for some half-baked crank notion that thinks the way to get votes for women is to bomb railway trains. Don’t you see it’s the last thing that can work — no government, not even that weak-kneed rabble of Asquith’s, dare give into terror and vandalism? Anyway, they’ll have a dam’ sight more important things to think of shortly, with this next war that the country’s spoiling for.’ Sir Harry snorted derisively. ‘Look at ’em — legions of bloodthirsty lunatics drilling in Ireland, workers within an ace of a general strike — dammit, even you women have got the fighting fever, with your smashing and bombing and shooting up locomotives. Any fool can see it’ll end in civil war — or more likely our tackling the Kaiser when he takes a slap at Russia or France, which he’s itching to do. Your votes are going to look like small beer, Button — which is why you’re sure to get ’em in the end, and much good they’ll do you. But war or not, you’ll get ’em all the faster if you lie low and work away quietly.’

Mr American, pp.428-9, Pan Books, paperback edition 1982.



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Via return of post

      “My views sir? Can’t think I have many . . . oh, I don’t know, though. Wouldn’t mind suggesting to Her Majesty’s ministers that next time they get a letter from a touchy barbarian despot, it might save ’em a deal of trouble if they sent him a civil reply via return of post . . . ”



Flashman on the March, p.287, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2005.


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Stay to govern

      “And now you leave us without a king! We were born in bondage, and must die as slaves. Why do you not stay to govern?”
     I told him we didn’t want to, and ’twas up to him and his like to govern themselves.
      “You mean we must cut each other’s throats,” grumbles he. “This is Africa.”

Flashman on the March, p.279, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2005.


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Incredible delusion

There followed a brief silence during which I kept a straight face. Suddenly it became plain that they were under the incredible delusion that I shot Theodore, but they didn’t care to say so in as many words, which was vastly diverting. Of course it was what they’d wanted, and had hinted to me through Prideaux, and Speedy, having seen the pistol in my hand and Theodore stark and stiff, had concluded that I’d done the dirty deed to save H.M.G. the painful embarrassment of having to try and possibly hang the black bugger. (“But no one must ever know, Sir Robert . . . controversy . . . press gang, scoundrel Stanley . . . questions in the house . . . uproar . . . regicide . . . scandalum magnatum . . . honour of the Army . . . “)


Flashman on the March, p.273, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2005.


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Doubtless a government agent

He was their correspondent in Paris thirty years ago, and doubtless a government agent — show me the Times man who wasn’t, from Delane to the printer’s devils…


Flashman and the Tiger, p.13, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


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We ain't politicians

“Why in God’s name didn’t you stop him?”
      “You and I tried,” says he. “But we ain’t politicians. What did you call us — government ruffians?”


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.355, Harper Collins, 1995.


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No-one’s fooled

It was the kind of face-saving settlement that’s arranged daily at Westminister and in parish councils, and no-one’s fooled except the public — and not all of them, either.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.133, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


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Exchanging governments

      1876 being the hundredth anniversary of the glorious moment when the Yankee colonists exchanged a government of incompetent British scoundrels for one of ambitious American sharpers…

Flashman and the Redskins, p.251, Pan Books edition, 1983.

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Genteel strong man

…there was the messenger of doom, waiting in the hall. A tall chap, almost a swell, but with a jaw too long and an eye too sharp; very respectable, with a hard hat under his arm and a billy in his hip-pocket, I’ll wager. I know a genteel strong man from a government office when I see one.

Flashman in the Great Game, p.25, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes.

Palmerston was in the saddle

Which was what you’d have expected any half-competent government to stage-manage in the first place, but Palmerston was in the saddle by then, and he wasn’t really good at politics, you know.

Flashman in the Great Game, p.18, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes,Palmerston, politics.

Flashman on royal commissions

&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp Unfortunately, government picked the wrong men to do the investigating – MacNeill and Tulloch – for they turned out to be honest, and reported that indeed our high command hadn’t been fit to dig latrines, or words to that effect. Well, that plainly wouldn’t do, so another commission had to be hurriedly formed to investigate afresh, and this time get the right answer, and no nonsense about it. Well, they did, and exonerated everybody, hip-hip-hurrah and Rule, Brittania.


Flashman in the Great Game, p.18, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.



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Free man or fool.

We like to think we are above that sort of thing, of course; the Englishman, however miserably off he is, supposes that he’s a free man, poor fool, and pities the unhappy foreigners raging against their rullers. And his rulers, of course, trade on that feeling, and keep him underfoot while assuring him that Britons never shall be slaves.

Royal Flash, p.252, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1978.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes,England, English.