Mad King Theodore

To find myself in the presence of Mad King Theodore was enough to turn my bowels to buttermilk . . .

Flashman on the March, p.190, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2005.



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The barrel of a rifle

. . . my bowels did a cartwheel as I saw that what his cane had become was the barrel of a rifle!


Flashman and the Tiger, p.306, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.



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Word of a gentleman

I’ve also known from the age of three that “honour” and “solemn oath” and “word of a gentleman” are mere piss in the wind of greed, ambition, and fear.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.227, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


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Gripping Master Starnberg

...what was gripping Master Starnberg was the sheer wanton delight in killing, of adding my distinguished head to his trophy room, of proving his mastery and seeing the fear in the eyes of a beaten opponent at his mercy — I know all about it, you see, for I 've enjoyed it myself, but while it's a luxury the wary coward can afford, it's a weakness in a brave man who's sure of his own superiority, for he forgets what your cold-blooded assassin (and your coward) never forget — that killing is a business, not a pleasure, and you must keep your sense of fun well in check.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.149, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


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Crept as fast

      On that happy thought I put up my empty piece, transferred the knife from my boot to my pocket, and crept as fast as might be down the stairs with my heart against my back teeth.

Flashman and the Tiger, p.136, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.



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Bright-eyed excitement

“Sign of nerves, Starnberg. You just want wish it was over and done with.”
      It didn't deflate him a bit. “Nerves yourself!” scoffs he. “If you mean I'm lookin' forward to it, you're right.” I believed him for I'd seen the same bright-eyed excitement at the prospect of slaughter in idiots like Brooke and Custer, and it's the last thing you need when your own fears are gullet-high.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.122, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, fear.

The partner of my fate

“But what have I to fear,” cries he, with a great idiot laugh, “when the bravest soldier of the British Army, the partner of my fate, is by my side?”
      A great deal, I could have told him, if Bismarck's bullies were after him; he'd find himself relying on the communications cord.


Flashman and the Tiger, p.41, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, fear.

Cowering in cover

“He was lying deep in the bushes, in terror of his life . . . and I located him by the sounds of his heart beating! Yes, and it’s a sound that has stayed in my ears these many years, that awful drumming of a human heart, in agony and fear.”
      Well, I didn’t believe it for a minute; if a beating heart could give you away when you’re cowering in cover, I’d have been dead meat before I was twenty.


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.225, Harper Collins, 1995.


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Strange rhythms

      I forced myself to look unmoved down his barrel, with my bowels doing the polka — by God he was fast with a barker...


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.218, Harper Collins, 1995.


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Political work

As a rule, I’d run a mile from political work — skulking about in nigger* clobber, living on millet and sheep guts, lousy as the tinker’s dog, scared stiff you’ll start whistling “Waltzing Matilda” in a mosque, and finishing with your head on a pole like Burnes and McNaghten.


*NB. Flashman's use of ugly racial epitaphs is a continuing problem for more enlightened, contemporary readers. The inclusion of these passages should not be mistaken for tacit support of his misanthropic, 19th century view of race relations.  



Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.38, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


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Men in fear and rage

“What bleating breast-beaters like you can’t comprehend,” I went on at the top of my voice, while the toadies pawed at me and yapped for the porters, “is that when selfish frightened men—in other words, any men, red or white, civilized or savage—come face to face in the middle of a wilderness that both of ‘em want, the Lord alone knows why, then war breaks out, and the weaker go under. Policies don’t matter a spent piss—it’s the men in fear and rage and uncertainty watching the woods and skyline, d’you see, you purblind bookworm, you! And you burble about enlightenment, by God— ”

Flashman and the Redskins, p.20, Pan Books edition, 1983.

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Flashman's steely nerves

      ‘Oh, Harry, do not move I pray! There is another of those natives quite close!’
      I turned my head and almost gave birth.

Flashman's Lady, p.294, Pan edition, 1979.

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Feared the worst

…if I’ve lived this long it’s because I’ve always feared the worst and been ready for it.

Flashman's Lady, p.83, Pan edition, 1979.

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Minor ordeals

The minor ordeals can be damned scaring simply because you know you’re going to survive them.

Flashman's Lady, p.25, Pan edition, 1979.

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Grin and agree

Speaking from a safe distance, I can say it was a sound scheme. Hearing it proposed for the first time I thought it was fit to loosen the bowels of a bronze statue – but the hellish thing is, whatever a general suggests, you can do nothing but grin and agree.

Flashman in the Great Game, pp.277-8, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes, bowels.

A windy streak

I’ve often wondered since, if chaps like Chinese Gordon and Bobs and Custer always went about feeling the way I did that night – not knowing what fear was? It would account for a lot, you know. But God help anyone who’s born that way; I’m sorry for ’em. You can’t know any real peace of mind, I think, unless you’ve got a windy streak in you.

Flashman at the Charge, p.284, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

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All men fear

It is no sin to be fearful, any more than it is a sin to be one-legged or red-haired. All men fear – even Yakub and Kutebar and all of them. To conquer fear, some need love, and some hate, and some greed, and some even – hasheesh.

Flashman at the Charge, pp.283-4, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

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Remember the golden rule

However fearful my present predicament, however horrid the odds and dangers ahead, they’d get no better with being fretted over. It ain’t always easy, if your knees knock as hard as mine, but you must remember the golden rule: when the game’s going against you, stay calm – and cheat.

Flashman at the Charge, p.210, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

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Gut feeling

The man himself did nothing to set my bowels a-gallop…

Flash For Freedom!, p.168, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1980.

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A dreadful opponent

He was tall and active, but nothing like my weight, and Flashy in the grip of mortal fear, with nowhere to run to and no choice but to fight is probably a dreadful opponent.

Royal Flash, p.178, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1978.

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