General Flashman remarks on the capacity of British prime ministers

. . . they took a cab to the famous club, where Sir Harry stared around the imposing hall and remarked that things weren’t what they had once been. ‘Saw Palmerston fall down that staircase — the whole damned way from top to bottom. Tight as a fiddler’s bitch. Finished up wrapped round that pillar there. Can’t see Asquith doing that, somehow. Rotten prime minister. D’you know, I presented him with a school prize once? Must be fifty years ago — ugly little swot he was then, and hasn’t improved over the years. Mind you, Balfour wouldn’t have been any better — “Pretty Fanny”, they used to call him. Only good thing I know about him was that he taught Asquith how to ride a bicycle. Argued some kind of capacity, I suppose — I’d sooner try to teach a whale to play the fiddle.’


Mr American, p.388, Pan Books, paperback edition 1982.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, drunk.

Know you

    ‘Know you.’ he said accusingly. ‘But you’re not a bobby — too well-dressed. Army? No-o, too clever for that. Haven’t got the sneaky look of a politician, either, and I doubt if I owe you money, or I’d recognise you. Well, dammit, who are you?’


Mr American, p.385, Pan Books, paperback edition 1982.



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Squiffy Asquith and the human hawk

. . . the defendants were represented by two of the best hatchet-men in the business, Charles Russell and young Asquith — you know the latter as the buffoon who infests Number 10 Downing Street at the moment, and my recollection of him is as a shining morning face to which I once presented a prize at the City of London School, but for all that he was accounted a sharp hand in court, while Russell was a human hawk, and looked it.

Flashman and the Tiger, p.248, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2000.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, lawyer.

More of Flashy on politicians

“… it takes a peculiar combination of the imbeciles, the toady, and the braggart to run for office in the first place.”


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.350, Harper Collins, 1995.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, politicians.

Immutable law

“What immutable law,” he went on, “decrees that the obtuser the politician, the higher he will rise?”


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.350, Harper Collins, 1995.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, politician.

We ain't politicians

“Why in God’s name didn’t you stop him?”
      “You and I tried,” says he. “But we ain’t politicians. What did you call us — government ruffians?”


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.355, Harper Collins, 1995.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, ruffian.

Devoid of principles

      They tell me he was a man quite devoid of principles, whatever they are, but I’d put it another way and say he was a consummate politician.


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.184, Harper Collins, 1995.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, principles.

Flashman the non-Founding Father

      It’s understandable, to be sure: they have to live with their ancestors’ folly and pretend that it was all for the best, and that the monstrous collection of platitudes which they call a Constitution, which is worse than useless because it can be twisted to mean anything you please by crooked lawyers and grafting politicos, is the ultimate human wisdom. Well, it ain’t, and it wasn’t worth one life, American or British, in the War of Independence, let alone the vile slaughter of the Anglo-Saxon-Norman-Celtic race in the Civil War. But perhaps you need to stand on Cemetery Ridge after Pickett’s charge to understand that.
      I put these thoughts to Lincoln, you know, after the war, and he sat back, cracking his knuckles and eyeing me slantendicular.
      “Flashman the non-Founding Father is a wondrous thought,” says he.

Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, p.105, Harper Collins, 1995.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, constitution.

Truth from falsehood

The trouble with the political service, you know, is that they can’t tell truth from falsehood. Even members of Parliament know when they’re lying, which is most of the time, but folk like Broadfoot simply ain’t aware of their own prevarications. It’s all for the good of the service, you see, so it must be true — and that makes it uncommon hard for straightforward rascals like me when we’re being done browner than an ape’s behind.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.166, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, falsehood.

One of the hazards of Washington

Any gang of politicos is like the eighth circle of Hell, but the American breed is specially awful because they take it seriously and believe it matters; wherever you went, to dinner or an excursion or to pay a call, or even take a stroll, you were deafened with their infernal prosing—I daren’t go to the privy without making sure some seedy heeler wasn’t lying in wait to get me to join a caucus.

Flashman and the Redskins, p.229, Pan Books edition, 1983.

Tags:Flashman, Flashman quotes, politicos.

A fine psychologist

He was a fine psychologist—you’ll note he had weighed me for a fugitive and a scoundrel on short acquaintance—an astute politician, and a bloody, cruel, treacherous barbarian who’d have been a disgrace to the Stone Age. If that seems contradictory—well, Indians are contrary critters, and Apaches more than most.

Flashman and the Redskins, p.169, Pan Books edition, 1983.

Tags:Flashman, Flashman quotes, contradictory.

Harry Flashman's schooldays

I snivelled and bought my way to safety when I was a small boy, [at school] and bullied and tyrannized when I was a big one; how the d---l I’m not in the House of Lords by now, I can’t think.

Flashman's Lady, p.12, Pan edition, 1979.

He'd still be employable today

Mangles, at the Board of Control in London, had described it as ‘tranquil beneath the Company’s benevolent rule’, but he was a pompous ass with a talent for talking complete bosh on subjects on which he was an authority.

Flashman in the Great Game, p.65, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,pompous, talent.

Rare praise

I’d swap any politician I ever met for old Pam – damn him.

Flashman in the Great Game, p.38, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,politicians, Lord Palmerston.

Princes or prime ministers

I should have known that it’s never safe to get within range of princes or prime ministers.

Flashman in the Great Game, p.28, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes,princes, prime ministers.

Bare-faced and grinning

That was Pam - and if anyone ever tells you that he was a politically unprincipled old scoundrel who carried things with a high and reckless hand, I can only say that it didn’t seem to work a whit worse than the policies of more high-minded statesman. The only difference I ever saw between them and Pam was that he did his dirty work bare-faced (when he wasn’t being deeper than damnation) and grinned about it.

Flashman in the Great Game, pp.27-8, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,Lord Palmerston, politicans.

Flashman on royal commissions

&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp Unfortunately, government picked the wrong men to do the investigating – MacNeill and Tulloch – for they turned out to be honest, and reported that indeed our high command hadn’t been fit to dig latrines, or words to that effect. Well, that plainly wouldn’t do, so another commission had to be hurriedly formed to investigate afresh, and this time get the right answer, and no nonsense about it. Well, they did, and exonerated everybody, hip-hip-hurrah and Rule, Brittania.


Flashman in the Great Game, p.18, Pan edition, 4th printing, 1979.



Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,politicans, royal commission.

Knaves and selfish brutes

But politicians are all the same; there’s no trusting them whatever, not only because they’re knaves, but because they’re even more inconsistent than women. Selfish brutes, too.

Flash For Freedom!, p.248, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1980.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,politicans.

Words versus axe-handles

   ‘Well, you can handle a team, surely?’ cries the merry Senator. ‘Why not make your fortune out of axe-handles?’
   ‘Well, sir, I’ll tell you,’ says Lincoln, and everyone listened, grinning. ‘I’ve just put the return on axe-handles at one thousand per centum. But I’m a politician, and sometime lawyer. Axe-handles aren’t my style; my stock-in-trade is spoken words. You may believe me, words can be obtained wholesale a powerful sight cheaper’n axe-handles – and if you take ’em to the right market, you’ll get a far richer return for ’em than a thousand per centum. If you doubt me – ask President Polk.’

Flash For Freedom!, pp.130-31, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1980.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes,Abraham Lincoln, words.

Education and evil-doing

‘Well, now,’ says Lincoln, ‘why not? Some of the greatest villains in history have been educated men. Without that education they might have been honest citizens. a few years at college won’t make a bad man virtuous; it will merely put the polish on his wickedness.’
….’Why at this rate, you will equate learning with evil-doing,’ cries someone. ‘What must your view be of our leading justices and politicians? Are they not virtuous men?’
   ‘Oh, virtuous enough,’ says Lincoln. ‘But what they would be like if they had been educated is another matter.’

Flash For Freedom!, p.127, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1980.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,Abraham Lincoln.