The most awful punishment

“’Twas the most awful punishment anyone could give a child,” says Watson. “Imagine, havin’ to lick your own father! I tell you, Josh, it near broke my heart. Say, didn’t it keep us good, though!”
      It wouldn’t have kept this infant good; I’d have laced the old bugger till his arse fell off. But then, I never had any proper filial regard, and if you’d ever met my guv’nor you’d understand why.


Flashman and the Angel of the Lord, pp.246-47, Harper Collins, 1995.


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Stay, cruel despot!

Now, I don’t recite all these barbarities to shock or excite your pity, or to pose as one of those holy hypocrites who pretend to be in a great sweat about man’s inhumanity to man. I’ve seen too much of it, and know it happens whenever strong folk have absolute power over spiritless creatures. I merely tell you what I truly saw – as for my own view, well I’m all for keeping the peasants in order, and if hammering ’em does good, and makes life better for the rest of us, you won’t find me leaping between the tyrant and his victim crying ‘Stay, cruel despot!’…

Flashman at the Charge, p.146, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

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A harmless enough fellow

God, I remember thinking, this is too bad. What the hell had I done to deserve this? Left alone I’m a harmless enough fellow, asking nothing but meat and drink and a whore or two, and not offending anyone much – why must I be punished in this hellish fashion.

Royal Flash, p.208, Pan edition, 8th printing, 1978.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes.