Exchanging governments

      1876 being the hundredth anniversary of the glorious moment when the Yankee colonists exchanged a government of incompetent British scoundrels for one of ambitious American sharpers…

Flashman and the Redskins, p.251, Pan Books edition, 1983.

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The leading aristocrats

Since most of the leading aristocrats held high military rank, and took their duties seriously in a pathetically incompetent way (just like our own really), I gradually became acquainted – not to say friendly – with the governing class.

Flashman's Lady, p.236, Pan edition, 1979.

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Better qualified than most

I applied for the Board of Ordnance, for which I knew I was better qualified than most of its members, inasmuch as I knew which end of a gun the ball came out of.

Flashman at the Charge, p.13, Pan edition, 5th printing, 1979.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes,Board of Ordnance, Defence Materiel Organisation.

Elphy Bey 2 (still not a fan)

Only he could have permitted the First Afghan War and let it develop to such a ruinous defeat. It was not easy: he started with a good army, a secure position, some excellent officers, a disorganized enemy, and repeated opportunities to save the situation. But Elphy, with the touch of true genius, swept aside these obstacles with unerring precision, and out of order wrought complete chaos. We shall not, with luck, look upon his like again.

Flashman, p.107, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

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Flashman, Flashman quotes,William Elphinstone, Elphy Bey.

Elphy Bey stood alone

Let me say that when I talk of disasters I speak with authority. I have served at Balaclava, Cawnpore, and Little Big Horn. Name the biggest born fools who wore uniform in the nineteenth-century – Cardigan, Sale, Custer, Raglan, Lucan – I knew them all. Think of all the conceivable misfortunes that can arise from combinations of folly, cowardice and sheer bad luck, and I’ll give you chapter and verse. But I still state unhesitatingly that for pure, vacillating stupidity, for superb incompetence to command, for ignarance combined with bad judgement – in short, for the true talent for catastrophe – Elphy Bey stood alone. Others abide our question, but Elphy outshines them all as the greatest military idiot of our own or any other day.

Flashman, pp.106-107, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes,William Elphinstone, Elphy Bey.