Flashman on forgiveness

…the last words I heard Elphy say were: ‘It really is too bad.’ They should have been his epitaph; I raged inwardly at the time when I thought of how he had brought me to this; now in my maturer years, I have modified my view. Whereas I would have cheerfully shot him then, now I would hang, draw and quarter him for a bungling, useless, selfish, old swine. No fate could be bad enough for him.

Flashman, p.200, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,William Elphinstone, Elphy Bey.

Farewell Elphy Bey

‘Flashman,’ says he [Elphinstone], gathering his cloak around him and pulling his woollen cap over his head, ‘I am leaving you for only a little time, but in these desperate days it is not wise to count too far ahead. I trust I find you well enough in a day or two, my boy. God bless you.

And god rot you, you old fool, I thought; you won’t find me in a day or two unless you can ride a damned sight faster than I think you can.

Flashman, pp.199 - 200, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,William Elphinstone, Elphy Bey.

Doing his duty

If you had taken the greatest military geniuses of the ages, placed them in command of our army, and asked them to ruin it utterly as speedily as possible, they could not – I mean it seriously – have done it as surely and swiftly as he [Elphinstone] did. And he believed he was doing his duty.
The meanest sweeper in our train would have been a fitter commander.

Flashman, p.176, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,William Elphinstone, Elphy Bey.

Puffing at a cheroot

And after this, to show what he thought, he took his blankets into the council and lay on them throughout, puffing at a cheroot and sniffing loudly whenever Elphy said anything unusually foolish; he sniffed a great deal.

Flashman, p.167, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,cheroot, Elphy Bey.

Can't have missed by much

‘The Afghans murder our people, try to make off with our wives, order us out of the country, and what does our commander do? Shoots himself in the arse – doubtless in an attempt to blow his brains out. He can’t have missed by much.’

Flashman, p.167, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes.

Elphy Bey 2 (still not a fan)

Only he could have permitted the First Afghan War and let it develop to such a ruinous defeat. It was not easy: he started with a good army, a secure position, some excellent officers, a disorganized enemy, and repeated opportunities to save the situation. But Elphy, with the touch of true genius, swept aside these obstacles with unerring precision, and out of order wrought complete chaos. We shall not, with luck, look upon his like again.

Flashman, p.107, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags:
Flashman, Flashman quotes,William Elphinstone, Elphy Bey.

Elphy Bey stood alone

Let me say that when I talk of disasters I speak with authority. I have served at Balaclava, Cawnpore, and Little Big Horn. Name the biggest born fools who wore uniform in the nineteenth-century – Cardigan, Sale, Custer, Raglan, Lucan – I knew them all. Think of all the conceivable misfortunes that can arise from combinations of folly, cowardice and sheer bad luck, and I’ll give you chapter and verse. But I still state unhesitatingly that for pure, vacillating stupidity, for superb incompetence to command, for ignarance combined with bad judgement – in short, for the true talent for catastrophe – Elphy Bey stood alone. Others abide our question, but Elphy outshines them all as the greatest military idiot of our own or any other day.

Flashman, pp.106-107, Pan edition, 12th printing, 1979.

Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes,William Elphinstone, Elphy Bey.