Solemn as priests

…Dinanath, old Bhai Ram Singh, and Azizudeen were present, solemn as priests. It was eerie, knowing that they were all well aware that their Wazir had tried to murder me a few hours earlier, and that I’d rioted with their Maharani in this very chamber. There wasn’t so much as a flicker on the handsome, bearded faces; damn good form, the Sikhs.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.115, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, flicker.

Tread uncommon wary

Being pagan (attached C of E) with no divine resources, I shall tread uncommon wary and keep my pepperbox handy.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.114, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, pagan.

Rhubarb

He was still chuntering when we reached my door…


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.111, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.




Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, chunter.

Perform the honours

“You know this man as Jassa,” says he to me. “Well, let me perform the honours by presenting Dr Josiah Harlan of Philadelphia, former packet-rat, imposter, coiner, spy, traitor, revolutionary, and expert in every rascality he can think of — and can’t he think, just? No common blackguard, mind you — Prince of Ghor once, weren’t you, Josiah, and unfrocked governor of Gujerat, to say nothing of being a pretender (it’s the truth Flashman) to the throne of Afghanistan, no less! You know what they call this beauty up in the high hills? The Man Who Would Be King!”


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.108, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, king.

Astonishing encounter

…what followed was perhaps the most astonishing encounter between two men that I ever saw — and I was at Appomattox, remember, and saw Bismarck and Gully face to face with the mauleys, and held a shotgun when Hickok confronted Wesley Hardin.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.107, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, encounter.

Gordana Khan

…this incredible tartan Nemesis with his Khyber knife and Yankee twang, eyeing me bleakly as I punished his malt?


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.105, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Nemesis.

What the Dickens

"Walk-er!" says I...


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.96, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.




Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, exclamation.

The deuce of a row

Now, you may not credit this, but I’m not much of a hand at orgies. I ain’t what you call a prude, but I do hold that an Englishman’s brothel is his castle, where he should behave accordingly — as many flash-tails as he likes, but none of these troop fornications that the Orientals indulge in. It’s not the indecency I mind, but the company of a lot of boozy brutes hallooing and kicking up the deuce of a row when I want to concentrate and give of my best.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, pp.92-3, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, indecency.

Aphrodite or the governess

In each case, Aphrodite or the governess, the magic is different, you see; there is always some unique charm of singular attraction, and it can be hard to define. In Mai Jeendan, though, it stood out a mile: she was simply the lewdest-looking strumpet I ever saw in my life.



Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.86, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, lust.

Brisk overhaul

There’s nothing like a brisk overhaul of a sporty female, with the certainty of a treat in store, for putting one in temper. And it goes to show — whiskers ain’t everything


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.71, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, whiskers.

Red tartan

He was a real Pathan mercenary, with iron moustaches and a nose like a hatchet — but he was dressed from top to toe, puggaree,* robe and pyjamas, in the red tartan of the 79th Highlanders!


*Turban.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, pp.63-4, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, tartan.

Damned good form

We tiffened with some of their senior men, all courteous to a fault, and not a word about the likelihood our armies would be at each other’s throats by Christmas — the Sikhs are damned good form, you know.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.59, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Sikh.

Fit to ride

Their cavalry . . . well, it was fit to ride over Napoleon.



Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.59, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Napoleon.

It's his rock

That’s worth bearing in mind when you hear some smart alec holding forth about our imperial wars being one-sided massacres of poor club-waving heathen mown down by Gatlings. Oh, it happened, at Ulundi and Washita and Omdurman — but more often than not the Snider and Martini and Brown Bess were facing odds of ten to one against in country where shrapnel and rapid fire doesn’t count for much; your savage with his blowpipe or bow or jezzail* behind a rock has a deuce of an advantage: it’s his rock, you see.


*Afghan musket


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.58, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, rock.

Aldershot in turbans

As far as you could see, among the endless lines of tents and waving standards, the broad maidan* was alive with foot battalions at drill, horse regiments at field exercise, and guns at practice — they were all uniformed and in perfect order, that was the shocking thing. Black, brown, and yellow armies in those days, you see, might be as brave as any, but they didn’t have centuries of drill and tactical movement drummed into ’em, not even Zulus, or Ranavalona’s Hova guardsmen. That was the thing about the Khalsa: it was Aldershot in turbans. It was an army.

*Plain


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.58, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Khalsa.

Curmudgeonly grunts

…the curmudgeon only grunted: “The Sikh speaks, the cobra spits — who grows fat on the difference?”


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.56, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, cobra.

How hot?

…it was hotter than hell’s pavement…


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.52, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, hell.

Too close a shave

…I decided to complete my misery by shaving my whiskers — that’s how reduced I was. When I’d done, and stared at my naked chops in the glass, remembering how Elspeth had adored my face-furniture and sworn they were what had first won her girlish heart, I could have wept.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.47, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, shave.

Grim attentive mien

…I nodded dutifully, with that grim attentive mien which I’ve learned to wear while scheming frantically how to slide out from under.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.46, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, mien.

None so prim

…ah well, thinks I , there’s none so prim as a Scotsman up in the world.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.39, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, prim.

Political work

As a rule, I’d run a mile from political work — skulking about in nigger* clobber, living on millet and sheep guts, lousy as the tinker’s dog, scared stiff you’ll start whistling “Waltzing Matilda” in a mosque, and finishing with your head on a pole like Burnes and McNaghten.


*NB. Flashman's use of ugly racial epitaphs is a continuing problem for more enlightened, contemporary readers. The inclusion of these passages should not be mistaken for tacit support of his misanthropic, 19th century view of race relations.  



Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.38, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes.

Deck clearance

      There ain’t much deck clearance under a billiard table as you might suppose, but after a cramped and feverish partial disrobing we settled down to play fifty up.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.31, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, billiard.

Lady Sale’s nose

      Dear dreadful Florentia. If you’ve read my Afghan story, you know her, a raw-boned old heroine who’d ridden with the army all through that nightmare retreat over the passes from Kabul, when a force of 14,000 was whittled to almost nothing by the Dourani snipers and Khyber knives. She hadn’t shut up the whole way, damning the administration and bullying her bearers: Colin Mackenzie said it was a near thing which was more fearsome — a Ghazi leaping from the rocks yelling murder, or Lady Sale’s red nose emerging from a tent demanding to know why the water was not thoroughly boiling.



Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.29, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Florentia Sale.

Flashman on the British Empire

You’ll have heard it said that the British Empire was acquired in a fit of absence of mind — one of those smart Oscarish squibs that sounds well but is thoroughly fat-headed. Presence of mind, if you like — and countless other things, such as greed and Christianity, decency and villainy, policy and lunacy, deep design and blind chance, pride and trade, blunder and curiosity, passion, ignorance, chivalry and expediency, honest pursuit of right, and determination to keep the bloody Frogs out. And as often as not, such things came tumbling together, and when the dust had settled, there we were, and who else was going to set things straight and feed the folk and guard the gate and dig the drains — oh, aye, and take the profits, by all means.



Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.24, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, empire.

As fine a catalogue

…as you may know from my memoirs, as fine a catalogue of honours won through knavery, cowardice, taking cover, and squealing for mercy as you’ll ever strike.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.22, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, memoir.

A promise broken

      I’d vowed never to go near India again after the Afghan fiasco of ’42, and might easily have kept my word but for Elspeth’s loose conduct.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.21, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.


Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, conduct.

Did they not Sir Harry?

. . . that glittering pyramid of light, broad as a crown piece, alive with an icy fire that seems to shine from its very heart. It’s a matchless, evil thing, and shouldn’t be a diamond at all, but a ruby, red as the blood of the thousands who’ve died for it. But it wasn’t that, or its terrible beauty, that had shaken me . . . it was the memory, all unexpected. Aye, I’d seen it before.
      “The Mountain of Light,” says the Queen complacently. “That is what the nabobs called it, did they not Sir Harry?”
      “Indeed, ma’am,” says I, a mite hoarse. “Koh-i-Noor.”


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, pp.16-17, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, diamond.

Imperial roughneck (ret)

…and if you think it odd she should confide in the likes of us, the retired imperial roughneck of heroic record but dubious repute, and the Glasgow merchant’s daughter . . . well, you don’t know our late lamented Queen Empress.


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.14, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, queen.

Stubborn little duck

      “Now, my dear Sir Harry, I must tell you,” says her majesty, with that stubborn little duck of the head that always made Palmerston think she was going to butt him in the guts, “I am quite determined to learn Hindoostanee.”


Flashman and the Mountain of Light, p.11, Fontana Paperback edition, 1991.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, Victoria.

At peace and dog-tired

…the storm of war and action hurtles you along in blood and thunder, seeking vainly for a hold to cling to, and then the wind drops, and in a moment you’re at peace and dog-tired, with your back to a gun-wheel at Gwalior, or closing your eyes in a corner seat of the Deadwood Stage, or drinking tea contentedly with an old Kirghiz bandit in a serai on the Golden Road, or sitting alone with the President of the United States at the end of a great war, listening to him softly whistle “Dixie”.


Flashman and the Dragon, p.287, Fontana Paperback edition, 1986.



Tags: Flashman, Flashman quotes, reflection.